Being a mom is hard.
A million times harder than you would think.
Its hard when you finally have a routine down that works, and then its time for a new phase and you have to start all over again.
Its hard to put someone else needs first before any of yours. With no breaks or rests to worry about yourself.
Its hard to live on no sleep. bleck. The worst. Waking up still feeling exhausted and drained from the day before, then having to do it all over again.
Its hard when you feel like the whole world is on your shoulders. Like you need to take care of a baby, have the house cleaned, dinner ready, and somehow find time to eat lunch. And if you are lucky MAYBE squeeze a 5 minute shower in there. That's on a really good day.
Its hard when other moms try to tell you how 'their baby sleeps all through the night' or how 'their baby doesn't need to be rocked to sleep.' or my favorite 'your baby still sleeps in your room?" yes my baby sleeps next to my bed....who am I kidding, my baby is sleeping in bed with me 80% of the time and we love it.
Its hard to sleep when she's not right there with me. With her yummy baby smell and her playing with my hair while she falls asleep.
Its hard to read all of these doctors claiming the perfect way you should be raising your kids and realizing you aren't doing any of that, because it doesn't work for your baby.
Its hard to let go of trying to be perfect all the time, and just do what works for you at that moment. I read the best quote over today over at Jessica's blog...
"who cares if you don't have a catalog house. who cares if you need antidepressants. who cares if you don't wear makeup except on sundays. who cares if your baby isn't wearing suede fringed moccasins or if you don't fulfill all of your pinterest dreams. guess what? just be you and be happy with you."
Its hard when it takes over an hour to get your crying baby to sleep and then she wakes up 15 minutes later.
Its hard, its all just hard.
But the hardest thing of all, is imagining that I didn't get to see this whiny, bratty, perfect baby girl all day everyday. She has changed my life 100% and made it so overwhelming and exhausting but I wouldn't give it up, even for a day. This smile makes it all worth it. And just when I think I've reached my limit, she always manages to put a smile on my face. Being a mom is the greatest feeling ever.